Archive for February, 2012

Love, Lost, Love



A series of dots…



Question marks on a test

Passed or surpassed

Is not the quest

Pick your leftovers

And leave the rest

The rest

That remains

Is it the heart?

Or the soul?

Torn into million holes

Salty eyes

Aching for rain



No gain



A series of dots




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Empty cheap beer cans lined up like gangsters on the kitchen table while dirty dishes are piled up like side heroes supporting them for a good cause. Cigarette butts are scattered all over the place. Dust of ashes shining proudly on them. Some unlucky ones got squashed harshly on the table. Who cares where the bin is anyway!

What’s ironic is poor Lincoln’s old war poster on the wall calling out “I WANT YOU TO PUT OUT THAT CIGARETTE”.

Kitchen sink is a plateau of more dirty bowls and plates hoping to attract attention from their beloved owners but only succeed in getting it from the flies. Cold showers for at least a week and if you live in Block E, please check the drainage pipe for a leak.

One lonely breakfast morning I stared blankly at the walls and wondered what a dread living in halls is, away from your blood, locked in a small room, caged with your demons. Just as I begin to shift my gaze, a few strands of spaghetti stuck on the top right corner of the kitchen wall smiled meekly at me and whispered “don’t forget about us, we too have been here for a month and a half”. We shared similar thoughts I guess. I proceeded with my morning and passed Matt’s door which has a giant green colour tie stuck on it with thumb pins. In the middle of the tie, there is written in bold red “Kiss me, I am Irish”.

My mum always says that I should start my day with positive thoughts and I just remembered that there is another poster on the kitchen wall that has “WELCOME” printed on it in 50 different languages.

Drink now, puke later!

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Conscience has hit somewhere

Somewhere in the heart’s deepest corner

Its prickling has caused a crevasse

From where red vibrant penitence is flowing out

A lake has formed

Pearls of memories

Are scattering in this lake

Their movement has formed

A blurred reflection

That reflection is yours

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Calls of Nature


Have you ever experienced while getting underground to catch your train nature call soon as you step inside the tube?

And it’s an urgent call!!!

It doesn’t give up. It keeps ringing & ringing and as time passes, it gets louder. What’s worse is that you don’t have the option to keep it on silent mode.

Well, it happens to me almost every day. But this one day it was so bad, I can say out of all times I had held on to the sudden call of nature, this was worst. My bladder definitely expanded a bit this time!

Experiencing extreme  nature’s call on tubes is a very awkward experience. Everyone’s sitting so close and there is very little you can do to pretend nothing’s wrong with you. I have seen so many weird creatures on tubes and always wondered where do they come from and why are they behaving so strange? Now I get it. Remember that chick who kept crossing her legs from left to right, pouted so much you  feared her lips would fall off? Well, nothing was wrong with her, she just wanted to go to the loo to release her blasting bladder!

Now we can’t deny every now and then every one of us go through a similar situation. Remember when you had to go pee so bad that you kept shifting on your seat and the grumpy man next to you was making even grumpier faces? You tried crossing your legs so tight that your tummy started hurting? You tried holding your breath while that clumsy blondie couldn’t get her luggage on the train at King’s Cross? You tried a sophisticated approach to hide your misery by exhaling deeply while your cheeks flushed red and ears burnt with your raging blood flow. Meanwhile, the couple who stood in front of you were busy slurping each other.

This particular day, I was going home and there were just too many changes and stops to STOP me from releasing my tension! Ah, I could have died with the suffering. I felt I was holding on to tsunami. I did the usual turning and tossing on seat, crossing my legs as far as I could. Nothing was helping me. I  felt smoke coming out of my ears. I looked around. Not a single person caught my attention to divert my mind from my inner outburst.

I tried focusing on the thick, stubborn and turned-upward towards the end brows of the old man standing near the door. They reminded me of  Heihachi from Tekken. Didn’t help me much though. I tried observing the girl with long bangs next to a man reading Cosmopolitan and keeping up with the sneak-peak while the man kept turning the pages. Not amusing. I averted my gaze to the old man sitting in front of me and looking straight at the glass to my right. Then he looked at me looking hard at him while changing expressions abruptly. There was an awkward moment where he and I just stared at each other. Him, now seemingly worried and me slightly embarrassed but still quite miserable.

That’s it, I jerked my head and looked down and got my headphones out of my pocket and went through my playlist, trying to keep myself as busy as possible and moving as fast as I could to stop myself from wetting my pants. The train was almost about to reach my stop and I wash thinking of the additional 10 minutes walk to my home. Michael Bublé was blasting in my ears  “Let me go home” while I played with the wire and nature kept ringing. I wished nature had no damn signals underground!


                       Hang In There…

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