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Archive for April, 2012

Change is difficult. Stability is easier. It keeps you going. Change brings you back to life, makes you stronger.

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You know that special “safe place” where you keep things you don’t wanna loose? Well, that is not a good “safe place” if you can’t remember where it is!

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If you try to argue with an ignorant person, you would probably end up making a fool of yourself.

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A conflicting question… too many clothes or a tiny wardrobe?

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All of us have our fair share of awkward moments. Now, they can be too embarrassing to share but some awkward moments are just too grand and funny to keep it to yourself. I say, the intensity of an embarrassing moment is directly proportional to the level of interest it develops among its listeners.

Haven’t you noticed when you’re sharing mundane stuff or in other words, dull and boring stuff between your buddies, you often get talked over? But the moment you say something that belittles you, suddenly everyone is excited to know about your misery? Shame, the world is filled with sick sad people!

Sometimes un-cool people share their embarrassing stories to attract some attention in a crowd. I’ve caught friends lying about these funny awkward incidents that never actually happened! And frankly, I have done it myself a thousand times. But of course that was different because I am the WRITER here so I’ll just pretend that my reason was  much stronger and justifiable than everyone else. I was desperate to be accepted in a crowd and thought I was not cool enough! It was easier to be my goofy self with my high school  friends whom were familiar with my insanity and awkwardness. But moving to London and facing the horror of unpredictable climatic conditions, not-so-easy to crack accents and HUGE cultural difference was not simple. It required a lot of effort, dedication and a tailor made humiliation proof shield. The outcome was an overwhelming addition to my awkward moments.  

So I thought I should compile some of the awkward moments that I experienced as a victim and on a few lucky occasions, as a quiet observer.  Awkward moments are hilarious, entertaining (long after the experience) and unavoidable so have a good laugh you sick sad people!

That awkward moment:

  1. When you couldn’t resist pinching the cheeks of that cute little baby in the pram who kept smiling at you and just as you turned back, you saw the MOM who didn’t seem amused by your action.
  2. When you offered to help an elderly person carry their heavy bag while walking up the stairs and they snapped “I’m alright” because they thought you would steal it.
  3. When you got extremely hungry before lunch and your co-worker gave you a look because your tummy couldn’t stop grumbling.
  4. When in a lift you had to go pee so bad and on the next floor, a dozen people entered in stopping you from jumping up and down or crossing your legs.
  5. When you are laughing with a friend and suddenly you lose control and fart.
  6. When you’re laughing at your friend who just farted and suddenly you lose it and fart.
  7. When you secretly try to smell your armpit while commuting and some nosy fella catches you doing so.
  8. When you give the biggest grin to the friendly waiteress serving you only to realise half an hour later that you have a nasty piece of food stuck on your canine.
  9. When at a traffic light, you are in sync with Timbaland in your car and suddenly you catch the psycho in the next car staring and smiling hideously.
  10. When your colleague offers you a stinking, sticky, gooey sweet and then wait for you to chew it in front of them! – Gulp (like literally)
  11. When you sneeze in a train and a blob of mucus lands on your palm and you want to rub it away quick but you have an audience.
  12. When you are sharing a funny story with your friends over a meal and just as you get to the funny part, you spit food on them.
  13. When you have a new friend request on facebook and its your Dad.
  14. When you are in a crowd of newly made friends and you crack a joke and no one laughs but you.
  15. When you are trying to stop  a sneeze in a crowd and in the attempt, what comes out of your mouth is a creepy voice startling everyone.
  16. When you’re going on about this amazing song you heard and when your friends ask you to sing it, you realise you don’t remember any of the lyrics.
  17. When you almost avoid a bump in public because you’re running late and the lady behind swears at you and in a clash of anger and frustration you swear back and then start taking long steps for fear you might get punched by her.
  18. When you slip over something and in an attempt not to fall, you do this crazy Martian dance attracting an audience.
  19. When you are fixing your under wear and your teenage co worker catches you and giggles.
  20. When you make a fat joke about someone and your fat flatmate takes it personally and runs to their room.

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