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Archive for May, 2012

Because when your heart i…

Because when your heart is content with the blessings of your family and loved ones, no amount of shit from a LOSER is going to bother you

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I see my past failures, heartaches, estranged friends, deceased family members and my little wretched heart…and then I see real world problems; people with no families, no food, no shelter, no belongings.. Nothing

And then life gets easier again.

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YES, that’s what it is. A nightmare!

For the past year and a half, I’m constantly and very bravely, living in a nightmare. Flat share is a very common and cheap lifestyle for students living in London or for people serving their time in a shitty work place. But, I kid you not, it requires an enormous amount of patience and manual hard work to be able to survive flat share.

And why is that? You might ask because:

A: You are living with your family where everything is cooked, cleaned, washed and served to you. You have absolutely no clue what it feels like to be deprived of the basic human need.

B: You are filthy rich, you have your own house with lots of servants, cleaners and a cook. Plus you don’t spend your precious time reading blogs written by sad people who think they deserve better.

C: You live with the popular Aggie & Kim from the show How Clean is Your House and hence you don’t know even the D of dirt.

Now don’t think that I’m a clean freak, carrying a cleaning cloth and a bottle of Flash under my arm 24/7. I am not.

In fact, I often leave my dishes overnight in the kitchen sink. I also have this stupid habit of keeping receipts in my handbag. They vacate my bag only when it becomes too hard to search for other things. I throw all of them on the floor or on my bed so that I could get rid of them soon, may be have a look at them to serve the purpose they were kept in the first place.

But that’s the max that I’ve gone on being untidy (Ok, I should add the occasional piling up of clothes on my chair, but that too is removed within a week). Clean freaks don’t leave their clothes on the chair or dump rubbish on the floor right? Hence, I am not one!

So what if I often clean the toothpaste spots left by my lovely flatmates in the wash basin. So what if I remove the empty roll from the toilet roll holder or throw away various used toiletries, soap wrappers, empty shampoo bottles and used cotton balls!!! Because everyone is just too busy to use the bin placed carefully and bagged neatly next to the toilet seat. Oh and that list also includes cleaning the toilet seat Saturday and Sunday mornings when morning-glory prince can’t aim properly!

I don’t get people who can’t throw their shit and wait for others to remove it. As if this is something understood or if there has been an agreement between us.

“Look homie, I will use my stuff and sometime yours, throw it all over the place, walk over it, even if it gets messier I don’t care and you will take care of the mess, I know because you care.”

Seriously how hard is it to throw the egg shells after pouring them in a bowl? Or closing your damn cupboard’s door after taking out a snack?

To my ‘homies’, it seems too much to ask. They leave things like that, tease my patience and see what I do about it. In fact may be they don’t even realise that something looks different or rather cleaned. That an idiot spent all day struggling to get rid of the tomato sauce from the hob and rotten vegetable mucus from the kitchen counter!! I remember one day I cleaned the whole kitchen and the living room and I think it took me the whole day and one of my flatmate commented “Wow, our kitchen looks different today.”

“Yes, it looks different, you selfish, dirty, smelly little skunk you!” ‘Cause I wasted all day rubbing your shit away you filthy piece of crap”!!!!

Sorry, that was my confident and outrageous alter ego. It takes over sometimes. I am a victim and I want my story told as seen and suffered. If you are a victim too and reading this, my honest prayers are with you.

There is no way you’re escaping the horrendous dungeon of filth produced by your flatmate or flatmates. If you are lucky, you will have just one unhygienic person who doesn’t care if his dishes are not done for over a week, or that the fridge smells like someone died there.

But you MUST have that one roach in your flat. If you don’t have any clue what I am saying, then most likely you ARE the roach of the flat!

In fact, I would even go to the extent of contradicting myself by un-matching flat share with a nightmare because at least the nightmare gets over once you’re out of your dream.

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