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Archive for November, 2012

Dear Jay M.,

Thank you for your offers and regular emails regarding such unmissable offers. Your punctuality on remembering me as a prospective member for your club is just remarkable. I appreciate it even more because I don’t find your level of enthusiasm and confidence in the emails I receive from the companies where I’ve applied for ACTUAL  jobs.
However, on this occasion, I would not be taking your exciting offer as I am too broke to face any consequences of online bribery/scam or a fraudulent business. I also don’t have the joining fee of only GB 100 to start working and not sure if I’d be able to attract customers whose monthly spend on your services would decide my monthly income!
Honestly, what I’d actually like to get is a job. A job that would promise to pay monthly income without any conditions and avail my sincere services in return. Just enough salary to get a room on rent and have meals three times a day, like any other normal person. Okay may be a bit more than that. Some extra money so that I can buy seasonal clothes and expensive perfumes once in three months.
Most importantly, so that I can live in peace and stop worrying about failing the rat race that is enforced upon all of us. It would also stop me from getting too irritated about small, silly things like receiving emails about how to save money from companies  whose website read “itsaboutmoney.biz”. The ones who have infinite links and tabs on their site rambling about how to earn extra cash and get easy money but not actually tell you HOW? Seriously, like come to the point already!!!
Well, of course this would have not mattered much and I would’ve probably joined your club if I had a decent job. Anyhow, I could’ve just unsubscribe myself from this list or deleted your email which, in normal circumstances, I do. But since, I am so pathetic and useless/jobless that I had nothing better to do then to send a bitter email to you and share my misery!
I would take this opportunity to thank you for your valuable emails that are mostly filed in my junk mail or neatly stacked in the bin. I wish you the best of luck for all your future members and hope to do business with you one day when I would have better control over my senses and understood the importance of time management ’cause I just realised I wasted solid 30 minutes on editing and rewriting this email.
Best,
Troubled Jobless Writer

P.S. My only consolation is that writing to you actually relaxed my restless nerves as I felt proud I could also (in all my leftover dignity) write a regret letter to someone!

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